Self-Publish Vs. Traditionally Published

We have a winner! It looks like we have Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed. Apollo Creed was this well-known boxer and Rocky was the underdog. I’ve got a ton of shit to fly at Ms. Gough’s direction and it isn’t pretty.

Before you ask, my book is in lock down until April 18th, 2017. I can’t put it on Createspace, KDP, or Smashwords. Do I enjoy being the bad guy? No! It gives me more time to finish my series. That’s what I need… more time and more money. Anyway, I entered my manuscript to Swoon. It is sponsored by Penguin-Random House so, it isn’t a scam. If readers love my manuscript, like really love it, it would give me a fat check for $10,000. The trick of it, is that I have to broadcast my books on multiple social media platform.

  1. I did this for shits and giggles.
  2. I did it to see if I would receive the same ratings, which I have.
  3. It gives me more time to complete my series.
  4. It gives me time to come up with the money for better book covers and editing.
  5. I don’t care if Swoon picks it up. I’m still a tough negotiator when it comes to my books.

Anyway, you do run out of money, when you self-publish. You don’t factor in getting sick and mental health illnesses. Whoops! My bad!

Anyway, we knew this exists. It still exists today. It won’t go away. You have these supreme authors who are traditionally published, who feel the need to bash those who choose to self-publish. Do they realize what really goes on behind the scenes? I don’t rely on a traditional publisher to make sure they format my books correctly or make sure they include my book. I do it all myself. There is no extravagant team to help me. Even with an extravagant team, shit is still going to get through. You can sit there and profess that your novel is “error-free” all you want. I promise you, I’ll find your errors and I will let you know it. There hasn’t been a book, yet, that has been error-free. I haven’t found one book.

Not to mention, we have different formatting styles for example: MLA, Chicago, and New York Style to go by. None of them agree with grammar or punctuation. Can we like get on the same page here? Not to mention, we have thousands of dictionaries and thesauruses, none of them agree on the same meaning for each word. We also have the UK version and the version that comes from the United States, when it comes to English. None of agree on the same definitions or spelling of the same damn word. Recognise vs recognize. Favorite vs favourite. We need to have one form and one style that both the UK and Americans can agree on. Let’s get that shit sorted out. When you leave your reviews, make sure you double-check to see where that author was from. If they are Americans, you will note that we use this -ed for our endings in past tense. In the UK version, they will leave it with a -t as the ending for their past tense. We have the redneck version of gray and they spell it grey. You see where I’m going with this? We can’t even spell gray the same fucking way! It’s annoying as fuck. You think with all of their college-educated minds, they can all sit down and have a good listing, definition, and style for each way we should write. But, they don’t. Here’s the moronic thing these people with doctorates, degrees, and whatever else English degrees didn’t give them… common fucking sense. Not so intelligent, are they? It took a lowly housewife to draw that conclusion. It’s frustrating for writers. It’s annoying because now various people can leave reviews saying “this isn’t spelled correctly.” When in fact, it is.

Writing is not a professional business. Why? We can’t agree with how a book should be written. We can’t agree on the same damn format. We can’t agree whether or not we should use adjectives, adverbs, write in the same point of view, or write in the same tense. So, where should writing fall into? It should be classified as art. Nothing more and nothing less until everyone removes the stick out of their anal cavities. I may give that author a five-star review but I still found errors in their work. No book is 100% flawless. You’re a moron if you believe your book is flawless. You’re just like the rest of us… human. We make errors, even with a team of editors and beta readers. We’re not going to find all the little tiny mistakes in our own work.

So… why do we need traditional authors to sit there on the royal thrones, dictating to the “sanctity” of the written word? Why are they telling me that my book isn’t good enough? Well, fuck you! Here’s a middle finger to you, asshole. You can’t even agree with how a book should be written. Which way? The UK way or the American way? Which style, the MLA, New York, or Chicago Style? Which dictionary? Fuck you! Take that in your mouth, Laurie Gough. You assholes already published a bunch of shit that left me confused. I just slammed a traditional writer the other day. It was trash. Pure trash. And you’re worried about us? Your gatekeepers have already failed you. We’ve already traditionally published garbage a while back, before Fifty Shades came onto the scene. Go back with your master’s degree in literature and figure out which style we should write in, genius. Which dictionaries, we should use. That’s what you can do with your degree.

What do writing degrees give you? Nothing. Absolutely jack shit. They don’t give you an imagination or creativity. Do you think Mark Twain gave a shit when he wrote Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn? He’d piss all over your degree, if he was alive today. His works are considered classics. People like Gough, will never write a classic novel. She’s wrote books on her travel journey. Didn’t we have that with “Eat, Pray, Love?” Which I haven’t read that book yet. But can someone say, copycat? Come up with something new and refreshing. Honey, you don’t have an ounce of imagination, persistence, and dedication it takes to become a self-published author. We wouldn’t want you in our community anyway. Only a small few of traditional published authors interact with their readers. We, the self-published author, interact with our readers daily. Or try to at least. As soon as a reader pops up a question on my Facebook Author page, I’m right there. I give them the best answers, I can. As of right now, they can watch my ass on YouTube. They see me as a person. I’m not a douche to my readers. It’s actually an honor to have one person read your hard work. Hey, they took the time to read my shit! I’m honored! I’m humbled beyond all words. I appreciate every single negative or positive thing they have to say.

And I don’t understand why they feel the need to keep bashing self-published authors? You can’t get your English straight. No wonder why English is the hardest language to learn. We have jack-offs who can’t agree with the same word or words. And dammit… when you put that divide, it only makes people read fewer books. We need that criticism from readers. We need our asses hung on a pole from readers. That’s how writers improve. Not by a team of editors or beta readers, but by readers themselves. Hey, not everyone is going to catch everything.

Who came up with this “don’t use adjectives or adverbs” bullshit? I don’t care. It’s a fucking word. It’s going in. Don’t like reading adjectives or adverbs, you can slowly kiss my white-pearly ass. Mark Twain would agree with me. Stephen King has used them. I found a few. Anne Rice uses them, I found quite a few in her book. You can’t agree with the same definitions. Who are you to dictate what I can put in and what I have to leave out? If I find it annoying, I’ll take it out. Until then, adjectives and adverbs are here to stay. Slowly spin on that one.

Writing is an art form until we can all agree with how the English language should be perceived. Until these people with doctorates and master’s degrees can join forces to come up with one standard across the board. That includes the UK and American language. We all could use one big editor for both versions. Until then, you can’t really dock me for shit. Yeah, leave a one-star review… it still doesn’t make your opinion any better or less than the five-star reviews. And one more thing… people pay big money to land on the USA or NYT’s best seller’s list. It is the biggest scam that’s going on. You give them a shit load of money and your book would be considered a best seller’s too. They don’t go by who sold the most books. Mind-blowing, isn’t it? And they have a team of people, family, and friends who also fake those five-star reviews too. Don’t let people like Ms. Laurie Gough fool you. We are all in the same business… the used car salesman business. It’s all one big scam. It boils down to who has the most money and the best marketing team. Kudos to E.L. James and Meyers. Proof that you don’t need an editor to be successful. Well played, ladies. Well played.