Get Educated

I remember when my therapist asked me, “Have you ever suffered from an eating disorder?” This therapist made me think back to my younger days. The reasons why I’m seeing a therapist & psychologist is because I suffer from Social and Generalized Anxiety, Borderline, Bipolar I, PTSD, and Trichotillomania. I didn’t have an easy childhood or teenage life. I suffered from a lot of trauma. Maybe my prior posts are incredibly naive and insensitive. Back to the point.

I told my therapist, yes, I did suffer from an eating disorder. I also suffer from avoidant eating disorder, bullemia, and anorexia. I’m still suffering from avoidant eating disorder. It didn’t dawn on me that’s what it is. I was labeled as a “picky” eater. No, I just don’t like the taste of certain foods in my mouth. I avoid mayo at all costs. Then it dawns on me that my middle son also suffers from anxiety and avoidant eating disorder. I didn’t know such a term existed until now. He is often called a “picky” eater. He excludes a lot of food from his diet. Spreading awareness to this new disorder has made me pick up the phone for him. When you don’t know, you don’t know. I remember my parents begging me to eat when I was really little. The food just didn’t taste right in my mouth, so I avoided those foods. My middle son is doing the same thing. This is a time to get educated.

I had to think back to a time. Yes, I do remember eating a ton of food, just to throw it back up. It was a way for me to have control. I remember suffering from the ages of 10 to 20. I still battle not eating today. That’s also a Borderline trait. Food issues is a huge part of Borderline and Anxiety.

I take back all the ignorant things, I’ve said about fiction. As a writer, it is your moral obligation to do careful research when writing about eating disorders. When an author fails to show and lets a marginalized group down by generalizations and stupid anecdotes; Houston, we have a problem. We’ve had enough of women vs women. Stop writing that shit. Stop pitting us against each other. Fuck you, if you write shit to tear each other down. I’ve had enough of these stupid Mommy Wars. I’ve had enough of “those girls.” Or, “those girls are ugly/pretty,” when the prose is by a feminine main character. Come on, now! We can do better than that! It’s 2017! Quit it with the nonsense! Bullying won’t stop unless you stop writing about this shit, like it’s okay. It isn’t okay!

My main character takes it from one extreme to another. Yes, I’ll be writing about anorexia. It is my moral obligation to showcase what that character goes through. First, she over-eats, and then she loses all her weight and turns anorexic. It is my other characters’ jobs to point it out for her. “Hey, I think you need help. It’s okay to ask for help.”

This particular reviewer read the entire book on “Sad Perfect,” by Stephanie Elliot. She took pictures and included quotes on why this book is harmful. Not to just the YA crowd, but to the adults as well. Here I am, stuck at a crossroads. This reviewer gave me my “STFU” juice. Yes, this author is an idiot. But do we need to censor her book? No, she’s entitled to write “said” book. Even when it can potentially damage the youth and adults. The best that we can do is say, “don’t buy” this book. Let that author remain ignorant. Let it hurt her in her pocketbook. Before you jump my case, let me explain. There are over 10 million books in circulation. Those books also contain generalizations. To pull this one, you have to pull all of them. That means Harry Potter, should be pulled for child abuse; Twilight should be pulled for stalker issues, abuse (mental), etc… Fifty Shades should be pulled for mental abuse, abuse, and destruction to the BDSM community; Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, should be pulled for domestic abuse, and murder; Catcher in the Rye, by J.D Sallinger, should be pulled for child abandonment and parental neglect. George R.R. Martin, should be pulled for incest, abuse, and rape. The Outlander series, by Diana Gabaldon, should be pulled for spousal abuse and rape. Do you see where I’m going with this? There are going to be books or have been books out there that have promoted some form of abuse. All we can do is get educated. Avoid those books. If it triggers you, avoid those books.

A lot of those books, the fiction crowd has them. All we can do is spread awareness about the book. Tell your friends in school, college, or job setting. This author will get the message. We can also write letters to her publisher to pull it. I doubt it will be successful. Drawing attention to a book; especially, if it’s bad publicity, will normally increase sales for that book. You don’t want to go on a rampage against that book. There’s no such thing as bad publicity. Look at Trump. He still won the election. You fight with brains; not by harassing an ignorant author.

Ms. Elliot failed everyone. She failed the mental health community. She is ignorant by making statements. “Just eat.” Honey, it doesn’t work that way! And why did she put this in her book, “The crazy house. The place where “crazy” people go? Thanks for spreading more stigma against the mental health community! We are trying to stop the stigma, and you’ve created more stereotypes and stigma, against the entire mental health community. She had a moral obligation and she failed everyone.

Her book has done one thing for me. It’s made me rake my own book over the coals. Will I need to be careful with my own books? Yes. Do I need to be careful with in respect to eating disorders, my main character suffers from? Yes. Is it my moral obligation to tread lightly and remain sensitive to those suffering from mental health disorders? Yes! Jeannie says right off the bat, “I have PTSD.” And you see her PTSD come into play in book 3. It is my job to get that character the help she needs with sensitivity. Which character is going to point it out for her? Ian. He’s my go-to character. He knows something isn’t right about her. He will do it with the utmost sensitivity. Rosalie suffers from Bipolar I. Ember suffers from social anxiety. I gave them my traits, so yes, my books are “owned.” I’m adding eating disorders to Jeannie.

So, thank you, Stephanie Elliot. Thank you for making me re-examine my own books. Even though, my books are “owned.” When we say “owned,” it means that I suffer, and still suffer from mental health issues and physical issues. It doesn’t go away. It is a constant battle. And because of my constant battles, I’ve opted out of reading this book. Here is an intelligent and insightful review on why we should all avoid “Sad Perfect,” by Stephanie Elliot.  “Sad Perfect,” by Stephanie Elliot

To Stephanie, you wrote it, live with it. We, as the consumer, don’t have to buy your book. My advice is to take it off the market and fix your book. You have the moral obligation to do right, by the mental health community. You have the moral obligation, to realize your book does more harm than good. And because you could hurt someone like me. If this book was published when I was in bad shape back in the 90’s, it would have hurt me. Luckily, for me, I’m still in a lifetime of therapy. But there are still a ton of people who aren’t getting the help they need. Whether there are financial issues,  insurance problems, peer pressure, or denial from parents to seek the help/therapy they need. “Just eat,” and “get over it,” doesn’t work for people who suffer from mental health issues.

I’m stable for now. I don’t need a book to tell me, I’m “crazy.” I get that all the time. That’s nothing new to me. But it has the potential to hurt a young girl/boy (eating disorders do happen to men & young boys ). Even when I think I’m at my strongest; something like this could hurt me. Someone, who thinks they’re over their eating disorders, but they haven’t fully healed from those disorders. Maybe we need to step back and realize the harm we could do as writers and authors. Thanks for my reality check. I needed a boot up my ass.

“Abuse” in Literature

I’m probably going to ruffle some feathers today. I don’t personally care. In the world of fiction, fiction means it isn’t true. It was locked away in some author’s brain and he/she chose to write a prose that lit people’s fire to complain.

A lot of books are taking the hit. “Carve the Mark,” by Veronica Roth; “The Outlander Series,” by Diana Gabaldon;  “Fifty Shades of Grey,” by E.L. James.  I can go on and on, and list a variety of books. Even my own books has some shades of abuse, or where someone is forceful with another character. Instead of allowing other characters to correct the abuse, people feel outraged! “How dare you write this drivel! It’s abuse!”

It’s fiction. It isn’t meant to be true. Those authors owe you nothing. I owe you nothing. If you’re taking fiction to heart, you might want to switch to nonfiction. It’s like coffee. Decaf may be more of your flavor. To censor authors, demanding authors to write YOUR story is a bit naive. My antagonists, in my series, does some horrible shit in the future to my protagonists. I’ll be damned if someone tries to tell me, I shouldn’t write my series to be so violent. I’m making it a point to say that these are horrible antagonists. They kill because they can. The worst death will be in book 4. It’s a terrible way to kill off a character or characters. Here’s a piece of advice, don’t read my books. If you can’t handle gruesome deaths, my series isn’t for you.

On that note… I have read a lot of books. Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “Scarlet Letter” has an abusive spouse in that book. It’s considered a classic and many schools still distribute this book. “Romeo and Juliet” by, Will Shakespeare… suicide.

Demanding us to take abuse out will backfire. That promotes a form of censorship. Abuse is put in the books, so you can be made aware of traits. Traits that an average person would avoid. Anything goes in fiction. If people feel the need to take our books as gospel, they need a mental evaluation. Seriously! I’m reading “G-Man,” by Stephen Hunter. It isn’t a politically correct book. It will be offensive to certain races when it’s released. The time period, although unfair, is 1934. There will be offensive language because that’s what that time period was about. Mr. Hunter is an elder author. I doubt he’s going to give a fuck that you find his book offensive, or not. It is a high-octane read. There are guns, and squashing of brains. This is a “manly” read. And even though the grammar is a bit off, I still enjoy this book. I’m allowed to enjoy any book. We have that pesky first amendment, and thank goodness we do. Unless you live in a country that doesn’t allow “Freedom of Speech.” For that, I hope your country changes their minds.

Pfft… “You’re an advocate for abuse!” No. I know what abuse is like. I lived it and survived it. No, I’m an advocate against stupidity. And it’s been known that in the past with historical fiction, those things did happen. They did beat their women before the 1980’s. Domestic abuse was rampant for the time period. You cannot apply 2017 thinking into the past generation. People complain about Jamie from “Outlander.” “He took a belt to Claire! That is unacceptable!” But what they forgot to mention is that Claire grabs a knife and told him, if he ever belted her again, she would cut him. They are only focused on the abuse of Claire. When did the book take place? 1940’s and Claire travels back to the 1780’s. If that’s a time period to avoid, it’s the 1700-1900’s. Women were treated like property back then. You didn’t have rights or opinions. I’m amazed the author made Claire so mouthy. If we had spoken like that, we would have been hung, stoned, or torched. You didn’t mouth off back then as a woman. They killed your ass. Expecting 2017’s morals to inflict on a time period of yesterday is a joke. Those rights didn’t exist for women. Abuse and rape did happen. It wasn’t something to be swept under the rug. Diana is showing you how horrible those time periods were. She isn’t doing it for a thrill. No author writes something to get a thrill out of abuse. We do it to make a point.

As for E.L. James, it was her duty to study BDSM. She failed at doing that. After reading “Grey,” she made her case even worse. The manipulation, the beatings, the abuse. Any normal woman would have left Grey. That didn’t happen. But then again, she owes us no explanation. Like she cares anyway. She’s raking in the millions. I can imagine her swimming in money on her bed. I would, if I was her. I would pile that money on my bed and swim in it. I don’t believe she knew it was going to take off the way it has. It probably shocked her. I don’t know and I can’t speak for James. When people pointed out about the abuse, she successfully avoided the conversation. What I believe is she had an “oh shit” moment and has nothing to say. Not smart enough to avoid Twitter, but smart enough to dodge those questions. I would write a book in the opposite direction, if I were her. But I’m not James, so I can only guess. She still got your money. And as annoying as her series is, she was still entitled to write this series. Freedom of speech, remember? No, I’m not a fan of hers. I didn’t care for any of her books. It took me 3 months per book. That’s how long it took me; due to errors. Gross errors. But I can also see why, people love her series. It did make people read again. I can at least thank James for making people read books. Hopefully, they will trickle into other great books. James, an excellent marketer, but a terrible writer. Random House UK, still published her novels. Proof that you don’t need an excellent editor. Or how about the author who recently published, “Reasons to Vote Democrat?” His book is number 1 and it has nothing in it. You don’t even need to write words in a book these days!

As for Veronica Roth, she did write a lengthy post about “Carve The Mark.” A FICTIONAL book that has self-cutting and apparently racism. I haven’t read the book, but I will. If those are your triggers, avoid it. Don’t buy this book, if it triggers you. Frankly, if something triggers you, you’re not properly healed. You need help. I mean that with the utmost compassion. Veronica has something she wants to show you. What is she trying to show you? You jumped all over her for this first book. Let’s see what she does with the rest of her series, before we jump the gun. I have this feeling she’s about to show us something important in future books. I don’t believe Roth has a mean bone in her body. I don’t believe she’s racist and woefully ignorant when it comes to cutting. If she is… she needs educated. She wanted to tell a story, and I want to see, before I make my final judgment call. She is writing fiction, so it wasn’t meant to be treated as gospel. Even in nonfiction, there has been some gruesome scenes. No author is exempt from coming under fire.

People might point out some “issues” in my novels. Spike’s temper in book 2. In his defense, he had his heart, broken. He’s scared to have it broken again. A lot of men have been burned by bad relationships. I’m showing you that people can heal. People can change. Is he meant to be a dominant character? Yes! He is an alpha. Telling me I shouldn’t write about an alpha male, doesn’t sit well with me. He’s trying to keep Rosalie alive. There are antagonists that want to kill her. He will do whatever is necessary to keep her safe. The same with William, Ian, Raziel, Gabriel, and the other Enforcers.

We can call into question of my first book. Ian drunk-texted Jeannie because that was the only way, he could deal with the pain of losing her to William. When you’re 20, you tend to type shit, you shouldn’t type. Of course, you don’t see his side yet because I’m waiting for his side of the book. You don’t see that he’s drunk. You don’t see the guilt, after he sent those messages to Jeannie. And I left that off purposely. I’m still within my rights to write “said” novel. If you’re so against abuse in literature, write your own book. If you’re not up to seeing how other fictional characters deal with abuse themselves, write your own book. Don’t come into my yard and demand me to answer. I’ll simply say it’s fiction. It wasn’t meant to be true. I’ll defend my series to the death. There are wonderful characters and dynamic plots. I won’t change my terrible antagonists to suit your agenda. Going after fiction; you need to invest your time on other important issues. Life isn’t meant to be a bed of roses, rainbows, and unicorns. Life is messy and a difficult road to travel. There are many forks in the road. You have to decide your own path. Authors are NOT responsible for your “safe” places. We are making you face life. Let our characters choose what is and what isn’t right for them; before you tout abuse.

 

A Moderate Approach

You’re either too far to the left or too far to the right of things. Caught in the crossfire are the children in the next generation. They’re sick and tired of all these debates. We’re already setting fire to everything and it makes absolutely no sense to me. I opted to pull majority of my kids out of public school for the 2017-2018 school year. Why? Because I can! I told them that, if this state leans too far to the left or right, they were getting their butts out of there. With science diminishing and religious bills fixing to pass, I chose to yank them out of public schools. Will they return? Not until we have a moderate approach to their education. Putting my kids in the middle of your political agenda, doesn’t make me a happy camper. When kids are seen as money, I have to put my foot down. I should have put my foot down sooner.

In the school system they are in, they focus less on science than the other school district, they went to previously. They refuse to negotiate my middle son’s problems. He does have issues. He does suffer from high anxiety. So barking orders to him and expecting him to be quiet and listen, just doesn’t sit well with me. He’s a “hands on” learner. They often rush him to complete homework and he’s a slow learner. He likes to take his time. He’s always been that way. When he gets it, he flourishes. To them, my son has become another number. Another child they can incorrectly pass along the school system. When your child is crying and he’s having a meltdown, because they sent him home with a huge packet of homework, there’s a problem. It didn’t sit well with me. “You will learn this or you will fail!” Even in his snow packet, he’s slammed with more homework than my fifth and first grader. He’s only in third grade. He’s working on his packet for the entire day, while my other kids get to do things. Their snow packet is only a page. His is thick. Papers stacked on top of papers. Most of it is repetitive homework assignments. The same thing over and over again. I would have lost my mind, too, if I were him.

But it did piss me off when he cried. Here is my son feeling helpless and hopeless. This was a kid who loved school. Now he cringes every time he steps foot in the front doors. I’m also pulling out my eldest son. He’s having issues with bullying and the science isn’t taught as well as it was in the other school district. He needs classes more advanced for his brain. It’s not a sign that says, “hey, my kid is smarter than yours bullshit.” It’s a “he’s bored and we need to challenge him more,” type of scenario. Because he doesn’t associate with his peers, he is often ostracized. And it doesn’t help matters when he explains why Kentucky doesn’t have volcanoes. Yes, just like my character Zane; I have the real life Zane in my son, Zach. If you want to know where Zane’s personality comes from, look at my eldest son. Zach would rather have a telescope and a microscope. Genes, atoms, technology, architect, astronomy, and musical theory has tickled my eldest son. He loves Einstein and thinks highly of Einstein. He wants to decipher codes and all of that stuff. He’s always wondered about the world around him. How things worked, made, and how technology works. He will sit down in front of the science channel for hours. And he’s only 11. It’s my job to recognize those strengths and weaknesses in each child. Danny is extremely gifted when it comes to art. Art is his niche. He sees the world differently than Zach does. But both of them have a love for science. They will both watch the science channel for hours, if I let them.

They don’t care about MTV, the latest style, the music, or anything of popular culture. They’re not interested in sports. They actually loathe sports with a passion. Only my third son wants to participate in sports. They are not interested in violence in any form. They don’t bully or enjoy being bullied. They are curious adventures. They want to know why the sky is blue (for which they have an answer). They want to hypothesize things. Like yesterday, Zachary mentioned a metal, I didn’t know existed. He’s already rattling off the periodic table of elements. I’m lucky to remember such things. My memory has slipped over the years. I printed him maps of the world and he’s already naming off countries, providence, and cities. And I’m lucky to give out directions to the post office.

The common core approach isn’t working for us. It hasn’t worked for us in a long time. Religion, although we believe in monotheism, just doesn’t work for us either. “What about them trans people?” My son said it best. And this is what he said. “I don’t see what the big deal is and it’s not like you’re going to look at another person going to the bathroom. Why are grown adults arguing over this? I really don’t like Trump.” This is coming from the same  11-yo child. The same child at age six, told me this and (I may include it in a book). “I don’t want to kill my brain cells. Do I have to participate in sports? I don’t feel like injuring my brain or my body for sports. That makes no sense to me.” I didn’t tell him to say that and he came up with his own conclusions. I laughed for a good minute. I had to ask him, “Are you sure you’re not my Uncle George, reincarnated? He thought the same things too.” But yes, I did laugh. I never expected him to say those things. I’m often impressed, by how his mind works. He’s always thinking of something. And he can insult a person like Sheldon Cooper or Shakespeare at age 11. I had to lecture him when he pulls out the insults. At school, I can’t control what he says. At home, I’m on top of that brain of his.

I taught my kids to question everything. Question authority. Make them educate you, and you counter them. Try to see the logic from both sides of the coin. Why do conservatives feel this way? Why do liberals feel this way? What are they trying to tell you? Question both sides. Study everything, even if, you believe it’s pointless. Note everyone’s agenda. Everyone has an agenda. Study all of them. There you will find the hypocrisy from both sides. Let them trip over their words and actions. Counter them with intelligence. Never counter a person with swear words or anything of that nature. Life is one big debate. Study all the religions and political beliefs. Broaden your minds with nonfiction. But even take those with a grain of salt. Science, math, language, and history will always be constants. What we are doing now is considered history. Learn the fallacies of mankind. Work to improve things for mankind, but don’t forget how we did things in the past. Learn to survive in case of an apocalypse of some form.

Even as an adult, I’m still learning new things. I tune out the political banter and news. We know what’s happening and has happened. How can we make things better for the world and universe? There are environmental factors and evil people doing evil shit from around the world. Nobody is immune from any attack. With differences of opinions, there will always be wars. Land and money controls all of us. Our quest for greed makes us intolerable human beings. Even the wealthiest of liberals want everyone else to spend their hard-earned money, but not themselves. They have the power to end everything. Yet, they want to showboat and accept numerous awards that mean nothing to them. They are just as much to blame as the rest of us. That’s where some of the hypocrisy of liberals come into play.

If I became wealthy from my series, you better believe most of my money would go to help people. All I need is one comfortable house, a car, and my kids go to college. I don’t need awards or mansions. Awards just sit there and collect dust. Helping out my fellow mankind would be a dream within a dream.

In the meantime, I’m homeschooling my children, and I’m going to continue to write my books, (which are moderately based books). You see how my true mind works. I’ll show you the problems with a society, and you can see where it leads.

Issues With Breasts

Warning: Some parts might be a little TMI.

 

Last year or around October of last year, I noticed blood from my right nipple. I chose to do the right thing and tell my doctor. She referred me to the Breast Center. It’s a place a person goes for possible breast cancer. Well, I did go through with the tests. The mammogram came up negative and the ultrasound turned up negative. I did turn up positive for a blood sample. They wanted me to do a biopsy and I refused. Maybe I’m stupid or foolish, but I just got out of a surgery for my gall-bladder. I’ve had 10 surgeries for the past few years and I wanted to give my body a break from surgeries. I foolishly declined.

Two days ago, I went in for my yearly pelvic and breast exam. All cool, right? Not so fast! My doctor discovered two cysts on the same right breast that had the nipple discharge. Go ahead and call me an idiot. I deserve it. I didn’t want to undergo another surgery. I had countless surgeries. 4 of my kids were born via c-section, an abdominal hernia repair surgery, a uterine repair surgery, surgery on my ears (twice) with my adenoids and tonsils removed, thyroid and neck dissection surgery (for another cancer scare), gall bladder removed, and I didn’t want to go back under the knife. I felt like my body was trying to recover from surgery after surgery. It needed to repair itself.

Now, I have to undergo another mammogram and ultrasound. This time, I can’t leave without the biopsy. I laid there and I cried on the table over my stubborn decision. I brought this on myself. What’s worse? My husband took me out that night. He’s the last person, I wanted to tell, but I had to tell him. He’s my rock and pillar of strength. And he didn’t breakdown. He stayed positive. “It could be nothing. Let’s not worry until we have the biopsy results.” Straight and level-headed. He’s right. There’s no use in worrying until we see the Breast Center and until we have the biopsy results back.

Just the look on my doctor’s face, told me that there was something wrong. She made a face that alarmed me. “Why didn’t you check your breasts?” It was simple. I hate looking at my breasts. I didn’t want to touch them or look at them. Why? I also have a disorder called macromastia. I hated these things, since they emerged at age 8. I was often bullied over them in school. Girls thought I stuffed my bra when I didn’t. I made more friends with boys vs. girls. I was the girl they liked having around but not date. I often wore double shirts to conceal my breasts. I even tied them down quite a few times to hide them. I hated them that fucking much.

My husband, when we were dating was shocked when I took off my shirts. He had no clue how large my breasts were. It looked like I was fat. In all honesty, I wanted them to disappear. My doc made that face and you know a look of disappointment and fear rolled into one look. She immediately got on the phone with the breast center as I was leaving the office.

My doctor also made a deal with me. If I go to the Breast Center, she will put in a recommendation to have my breasts reduced. But, I have to make sure these lumps are non-cancerous first. And she knew just how much, I loathed my breasts with a passion. They are the annoyance to my life. The same things that hindered my social life is now hindering my health. I could quite possibly, be battling for my fucking life. I wish we were given the option at birth. “Do you want breasts or don’t want breasts?” I would have picked no breasts. My husband sweetened the deal with a tummy tuck. I have the potential to drop a ton of weight, since I also have the excess skin from massive weight loss. Damn them! I don’t want my breasts to be squished by that damn machine. But, I have to live. I don’t want someone else raising my kids.

Let my tale of woe be a cautionary one to all people, not just women. If you suspect anything, get it checked out by a doctor. Don’t be a fool like me. I chose to sit on it. Now, I could quite possibly be battling for my life from breast cancer. I tried to make a morbid joke and my family didn’t think it was appropriate. “Either way, I’m losing my breasts.” Look at me, making bad jokes at the wrong time! I had to lighten the mood, but I think I pissed people off. Those inappropriate jokes will get angry glares from your family members. Even if you hate your breasts, self-exams are that important. Especially, when you’re battling a variety of autoimmune diseases on top of this. Get that shit checked out. The same with testicles. Check those out, too. Don’t sit on it. Your health could be at stake.

 

Facebook Vs. Twitter

We see them all the time. “Buy my book!” The Twitter feed is annoying. Over 5,000 authors, screaming the same shit. It isn’t working. Twitter is not your friend. Sure, anyone can make a tweet feed and send it out on automatic tweets. I used to play that game and it became challenging. Marketing your books is a good start, but not good enough.

If you haven’t started a Facebook Author page, you need it now. Like, yesterday. Even if you haven’t published a single book, get that shit started. Most of the people, I know are on Facebook. Anne Rice has a FB Author page, Stephen King, E.L. James, Stephenie Meyer, and shit… even William Shakespeare as a FB author page. Dead authors have FB author pages. Not to sound morbid or anything. Even William Shakespeare would be pimping out his shit on Facebook.

Facebook also gives you a chance to interact with your, gulp *fans*. I choose to use readers over *fans* that’s just a “me” thing. I’m a reader and read a ton of books. Having fans just doesn’t appeal to me. It seems strange and foreign. This is the quickest way to update your readers about the books. You can make it personal or keep it strictly business. I choose to keep mine personal. Why? Because these people are like family members to me. They opted to follow me and I love them dearly. They didn’t have to waste their busy schedules to follow an ass like me. I do love them and I can’t say enough about how awesome people are. If you’re shy or have anxiety, this helps you deal with anxiety. I also opted to be completely transparent with my audience. I tell them everything and refuse to lie to them.

Facebook also gives you that option of running ads for a cheap price. For $5.00, you can market your books to a certain group of people who are interested in the same characters from similar series. How do you think Helen Hardt became so popular? She targeted an audience that follows Fifty Shades. If your books are about sci-fi, horror, fantasy, or any other genre, you can target that audience.

Even though I don’t want to be compared to Dracula, Twilight, Interview With A Vampire, Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood), or other vampire series, I need to tailor my ads to those people. I also need to target an audience that’s into epic sagas. Since I have erotic elements, I need to target the Fifty Shades group.

If you haven’t started a Facebook Author page, you might want to rethink your game. I highly suggest all authors to have a Facebook Author page. Just be honest with people. They appreciate honesty vs. lying. Link it to people. It’s easy and hopefully, people can navigate Facebook these days.

Here’s a link to Robert Bevan’s Blog about Facebook Ads. Use it to your advantage to maximize the potential revenue you have yet to explore.This is vital to self-published authors.

Why Didn’t I March?

This will go around and I need to clear my head on why, I refused to join in the march for women…

  1. Until we can accept ALL women’s opinions and beliefs. Whether they are a conservative, moderate, or liberal.
  2. Until we can stop slut-shaming each other in the comments.
  3. Until we can stop criticizing other women for their weight or height on both sides.
  4. Until we can stop our jealousy towards other women.
  5. Until we can stop having these “mommy” wars. The whole stay-at-home vs work-outside-the-home thing.
  6. Until we can stop condemning each other for things we’ve done to ourselves.
  7. Until we can stop berating each other for our choices in jobs… For example: Stripping and other things of an adult nature.
  8. Until we can stop the hypocrisy.
  9. Until we can respect each other for the way we voted.
  10. Until we can stop falsely accusing men of rape.
  11. Until we recognize that men will lose in a custody battles over women.
  12. Until we can stop using our children as pawns or weapons in warfare.
  13. Until we recognize that minorities of the same gender are actually paid less than the ones who are white.

Until you can end the hypocrisy, I won’t join in on your little marches. Do I believe the government should have control over my body? Nope. But at the same time, who has the voice for the unborn? What if the unborn would have been a woman? When you become a moderate, you see the real issues from both sides.

We’re all for women’s rights… except for THOSE women. “Those women are not us!” I’m sorry, but that’s hypocrisy at its finest. You for ALL women, but not THOSE women. THOSE women who voted for Trump. THOSE women who have a different set of values. THOSE women who love and support their husbands. THOSE women who have children. THOSE women who don’t look like or act like you. THOSE women who chose a certain religion over others. You dismiss them and make their opinions are invalid. All for the sake of feminism. Feminism was created for ALL women. The new wave of feminism isn’t something special.

And furthermore, I won’t degrade a man to better myself. I won’t use my assets against a man to improve my quality of life. I vote to lift each other up, regardless of sex or race. And yes, women are guilty of sexism too. Just post an alluring picture of a famous male actor and watch the women flock to it; saying degrading things. You don’t want men to degrade you or make sexist comments towards you, but you make them towards actors all the time. Hot buff men without their shirts on… watch the comment section. Their actual brains are dismissed, but we drool over their physicality. It doesn’t make sense to me. Forget that he’s a talented actor… you’re busy making some sexist remarks as a woman. But when men make sexist comments about actresses, it becomes a different ballgame. They are often called out for doing the same thing, more so than the women. Hypocrisy much?

And what about transsexuals or gender fluency? The same group that touts gender fluency is having a march for their own gender identity, but not for gender fluency. Huh? That means there are only two sexes in this world; men and women. You’ve left those that don’t identify with either, far behind. There’s your hypocrisy.

No, you’re not less of a woman if you voted for Clinton or Trump. You’re not less of a woman for having different values, religious/lack of religious beliefs, job titles, or being a mother/not a mother. You’re not less of a woman if you’re overweight/underweight. You’re not less of a woman for beauty/lack of beauty. You’re not less of a woman for being intelligent/not intelligent. You’re not less of a woman for being wealthy/poor. You’re not less of a woman for your political beliefs.

There is only one game and it’s called life. Asking for equal pay across the board is one thing. Saying women aren’t women when they refuse to march or support your beliefs is another. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself. All this hate-filled agenda could die with you in a blink of an eye. I’d rather spend my days loving the people around me and not bear anger at strangers for my own plight. I’ll continue to work my ass off, and love the people around me. I worked today and received kisses from my kids. I’d rather spend my days improving my mental well-being, and my writing skills.