A Moderate Approach

You’re either too far to the left or too far to the right of things. Caught in the crossfire are the children in the next generation. They’re sick and tired of all these debates. We’re already setting fire to everything and it makes absolutely no sense to me. I opted to pull majority of my kids out of public school for the 2017-2018 school year. Why? Because I can! I told them that, if this state leans too far to the left or right, they were getting their butts out of there. With science diminishing and religious bills fixing to pass, I chose to yank them out of public schools. Will they return? Not until we have a moderate approach to their education. Putting my kids in the middle of your political agenda, doesn’t make me a happy camper. When kids are seen as money, I have to put my foot down. I should have put my foot down sooner.

In the school system they are in, they focus less on science than the other school district, they went to previously. They refuse to negotiate my middle son’s problems. He does have issues. He does suffer from high anxiety. So barking orders to him and expecting him to be quiet and listen, just doesn’t sit well with me. He’s a “hands on” learner. They often rush him to complete homework and he’s a slow learner. He likes to take his time. He’s always been that way. When he gets it, he flourishes. To them, my son has become another number. Another child they can incorrectly pass along the school system. When your child is crying and he’s having a meltdown, because they sent him home with a huge packet of homework, there’s a problem. It didn’t sit well with me. “You will learn this or you will fail!” Even in his snow packet, he’s slammed with more homework than my fifth and first grader. He’s only in third grade. He’s working on his packet for the entire day, while my other kids get to do things. Their snow packet is only a page. His is thick. Papers stacked on top of papers. Most of it is repetitive homework assignments. The same thing over and over again. I would have lost my mind, too, if I were him.

But it did piss me off when he cried. Here is my son feeling helpless and hopeless. This was a kid who loved school. Now he cringes every time he steps foot in the front doors. I’m also pulling out my eldest son. He’s having issues with bullying and the science isn’t taught as well as it was in the other school district. He needs classes more advanced for his brain. It’s not a sign that says, “hey, my kid is smarter than yours bullshit.” It’s a “he’s bored¬†and we need to challenge him more,” type of scenario. Because he doesn’t associate with his peers, he is often ostracized. And it doesn’t help matters when he explains why Kentucky doesn’t have volcanoes. Yes, just like my character Zane; I have the real life Zane in my son, Zach. If you want to know where Zane’s personality comes from, look at my eldest son. Zach would rather have a telescope and a microscope. Genes, atoms, technology, architect, astronomy, and musical theory has tickled my eldest son. He loves Einstein and thinks highly of Einstein. He wants to decipher codes and all of that stuff. He’s always wondered about the world around him. How things worked, made, and how technology works. He will sit down in front of the science channel for hours. And he’s only 11. It’s my job to recognize those strengths and weaknesses in each child. Danny is extremely gifted when it comes to art. Art is his niche. He sees the world differently than Zach does. But both of them have a love for science. They will both watch the science channel for hours, if I let them.

They don’t care about MTV, the latest style, the music, or anything of popular culture. They’re not interested in sports. They actually loathe sports with a passion. Only my third son wants to participate in sports. They are not interested in violence in any form. They don’t bully or enjoy being bullied. They are curious adventures. They want to know why the sky is blue (for which they have an answer). They want to hypothesize things. Like yesterday, Zachary mentioned a metal, I didn’t know existed. He’s already rattling off the periodic table of elements. I’m lucky to remember such things. My memory has slipped over the years. I printed him maps of the world and he’s already naming off countries, providence, and cities. And I’m lucky to give out directions to the post office.

The common core approach isn’t working for us. It hasn’t worked for us in a long time. Religion, although we believe in monotheism, just doesn’t work for us either. “What about them trans people?” My son said it best. And this is what he said. “I don’t see what the big deal is and it’s not like you’re going to look at another person going to the bathroom. Why are grown adults arguing over this? I really don’t like Trump.” This is coming from the same ¬†11-yo child. The same child at age six, told me this and (I may include it in a book). “I don’t want to kill my brain cells. Do I have to participate in sports? I don’t feel like injuring my brain or my body for sports. That makes no sense to me.” I didn’t tell him to say that and he came up with his own conclusions. I laughed for a good minute. I had to ask him, “Are you sure you’re not my Uncle George, reincarnated? He thought the same things too.” But yes, I did laugh. I never expected him to say those things. I’m often impressed, by how his mind works. He’s always thinking of something. And he can insult a person like Sheldon Cooper or Shakespeare at age 11. I had to lecture him when he pulls out the insults. At school, I can’t control what he says. At home, I’m on top of that brain of his.

I taught my kids to question everything. Question authority. Make them educate you, and you counter them. Try to see the logic from both sides of the coin. Why do conservatives feel this way? Why do liberals feel this way? What are they trying to tell you? Question both sides. Study everything, even if, you believe it’s pointless. Note everyone’s agenda. Everyone has an agenda. Study all of them. There you will find the hypocrisy from both sides. Let them trip over their words and actions. Counter them with intelligence. Never counter a person with swear words or anything of that nature. Life is one big debate. Study all the religions and political beliefs. Broaden your minds with nonfiction. But even take those with a grain of salt. Science, math, language, and history will always be constants. What we are doing now is considered history. Learn the fallacies of mankind. Work to improve things for mankind, but don’t forget how we did things in the past. Learn to survive in case of an apocalypse of some form.

Even as an adult, I’m still learning new things. I tune out the political banter and news. We know what’s happening and has happened. How can we make things better for the world and universe? There are environmental factors and evil people doing evil shit from around the world. Nobody is immune from any attack. With differences of opinions, there will always be wars. Land and money controls all of us. Our quest for greed makes us intolerable human beings. Even the wealthiest of liberals want everyone else to spend their hard-earned money, but not themselves. They have the power to end everything. Yet, they want to showboat and accept numerous awards that mean nothing to them. They are just as much to blame as the rest of us. That’s where some of the hypocrisy of liberals come into play.

If I became wealthy from my series, you better believe most of my money would go to help people. All I need is one comfortable house, a car, and my kids go to college. I don’t need awards or mansions. Awards just sit there and collect dust. Helping out my fellow mankind would be a dream within a dream.

In the meantime, I’m homeschooling my children, and I’m going to continue to write my books, (which are moderately based books). You see how my true mind works. I’ll show you the problems with a society, and you can see where it leads.


Issues With Breasts

Warning: Some parts might be a little TMI.


Last year or around October of last year, I noticed blood from my right nipple. I chose to do the right thing and tell my doctor. She referred me to the Breast Center. It’s a place a person goes for possible breast cancer. Well, I did go through with the tests. The mammogram came up negative and the ultrasound turned up negative. I did turn up positive for a blood sample. They wanted me to do a biopsy and I refused. Maybe I’m stupid or foolish, but I just got out of a surgery for my gall-bladder. I’ve had 10 surgeries for the past few years and I wanted to give my body a break from surgeries. I foolishly declined.

Two days ago, I went in for my yearly pelvic and breast exam. All cool, right? Not so fast! My doctor discovered two cysts on the same right breast that had the nipple discharge. Go ahead and call me an idiot. I deserve it. I didn’t want to undergo another surgery. I had countless surgeries. 4 of my kids were born via c-section, an abdominal hernia repair surgery, a uterine repair surgery, surgery on my ears (twice) with my adenoids and tonsils removed, thyroid and neck dissection surgery (for another cancer scare), gall bladder removed, and I didn’t want to go back under the knife. I felt like my body was trying to recover from surgery after surgery. It needed to repair itself.

Now, I have to undergo another mammogram and ultrasound. This time, I can’t leave without the biopsy. I laid there and I cried on the table over my stubborn decision. I brought this on myself. What’s worse? My husband took me out that night. He’s the last person, I wanted to tell, but I had to tell him. He’s my rock and pillar of strength. And he didn’t breakdown. He stayed positive. “It could be nothing. Let’s not worry until we have the biopsy results.” Straight and level-headed. He’s right. There’s no use in worrying until we see the Breast Center and until we have the biopsy results back.

Just the look on my doctor’s face, told me that there was something wrong. She made a face that alarmed me. “Why didn’t you check your breasts?” It was simple. I hate looking at my breasts. I didn’t want to touch them or look at them. Why? I also have a disorder called macromastia. I hated these things, since they emerged at age 8. I was often bullied over them in school. Girls thought I stuffed my bra when I didn’t. I made more friends with boys vs. girls. I was the girl they liked having around but not date. I often wore double shirts to conceal my breasts. I even tied them down quite a few times to hide them. I hated them that fucking much.

My husband, when we were dating was shocked when I took off my shirts. He had no clue how large my breasts were. It looked like I was fat. In all honesty, I wanted them to disappear. My doc made that face and you know a look of disappointment and fear rolled into one look. She immediately got on the phone with the breast center as I was leaving the office.

My doctor also made a deal with me. If I go to the Breast Center, she will put in a recommendation to have my breasts reduced. But, I have to make sure these lumps are non-cancerous first. And she knew just how much, I loathed my breasts with a passion. They are the annoyance to my life. The same things that hindered my social life is now hindering my health. I could quite possibly, be battling for my fucking life. I wish we were given the option at birth. “Do you want breasts or don’t want breasts?” I would have picked no breasts. My husband sweetened the deal with a tummy tuck. I have the potential to drop a ton of weight, since I also have the excess skin from massive weight loss. Damn them! I don’t want my breasts to be squished by that damn machine. But, I have to live. I don’t want someone else raising my kids.

Let my tale of woe be a cautionary one to all people, not just women. If you suspect anything, get it checked out by a doctor. Don’t be a fool like me. I chose to sit on it. Now, I could quite possibly be battling for my life from breast cancer. I tried to make a morbid joke and my family didn’t think it was appropriate. “Either way, I’m losing my breasts.” Look at me, making bad jokes at the wrong time! I had to lighten the mood, but I think I pissed people off. Those inappropriate jokes will get angry glares from your family members. Even if you hate your breasts, self-exams are that important. Especially, when you’re battling a variety of autoimmune diseases on top of this. Get that shit checked out. The same with testicles. Check those out, too. Don’t sit on it. Your health could be at stake.